REPORT ON VISIT TO WASHINGTON DC APRIL 1997

Mothers for Peace VISIT TO WASHINGTON DC
10th - 23rd APRIL 1997

Dear Lucy

We thought you might be interested to hear about the Mothers of Peace trip to Maryland, U.S.A. The four Mothers for Peace members - Joan Eggmore, Jean Parke-Goldthorp, Sally Cunningham and Nancy Daybelge met in the departure lounge at Heathrow airport and got to know each other (and some of each other's idiosyncrasies!) on the seven hour flight to Washington DC.

Here we were met by Maria Bradley and taken to our various hostesses for the first quiet evening of our trip - settling in and getting acquainted.

I had expected to be in the outskirts of a high rise city so my initial reaction was one of amazement at the beauty of this tree carpeted area, the air was crisp and it was spring time - the cherry blossom was just over and had been replaced by the exquisitely beautiful blossom of the dogwood trees - which is, in fact, very similar. The houses were built amongst very tall, slim, elegant trees - with no formal gardens around them - as we have in the UK - giving the whole area a 'woodland' feel. The ground cover under these trees was periwinkle, wild lilies of the valley and larger than life purple violets. Really lovely!

Early (8 a.m.!) next morning we all met at the Friends School in Sandy Spring. This school was founded in 1961 under the care of the Sandy Spring Monthly Meeting of Friends and is situated on a 140 acre campus -35 minutes from both Washington DC mid Baltimore. The average class size is 15 and the staff student ratio is 1:7. There is a large international section - about 15% of the student body.

We spent the day at this school starting out in the superbly equipped library. We sat in on a senior modern history class and were very impressed by the varied and very modern teaching methods used.

The Quilters from Boise, Idaho, led by Elisabeth Jay, were with us for this first weekend and they set up a display of fascinating quilts in the Junior School. They have made over 35 quilts so far and one of them is earmarked for the Smithsonian Institute in the future - a very great honour indeed! The children really enjoyed seeing these quilts and we really enjoyed seeing their reactions to them - and having their comments as each one was unfolded.

The school has a lovely happy busy atmosphere. There were many innovative projects ongoing throughout the whole school and the staff and pupils took time to tell us about many of them.

We had lunch in the "canteen" - this proved quite an eye opener for us as we cast our minds back to "school dinners" in the UK. School children are very health conscious and the very, very, very, extensive menu showed this. Not a chip in sight!"


We saw the report of an in-depth study done by both staff and pupils for the Catering Department of the School. This showed how aware young people in the United States have become about nutrition. (It also showed, I was almost relieved to notice, that the chip is not yet dead!).

That evening we went to a party given by Jo Frock at her home in Olney, for the Committee, the delegates and their host families. This was a noisy, happy occasion with new friendships started and old ones renewed. We sampled the famous Peace Cookie at this party - in the shape of a dome and covered with pink 'sprinkles' - quite delicious!

Next day we had an early lunch at the Community House, Sandy Spring before setting out for Hallowood Retreat Centre - which was a beautiful, majestic, meditation renewal centre at the foot of Sugar Leaf Mountain in Frederick County, Maryland and developed by the Lutheran Church.

We spent the night here - recovering from jet lag and conversing by an open fire, exchanging ideas and getting to know each other better and being facilitated by the very patient Betty Hoover.

There is an historic log cabin in the grounds of the centre which is now more than 150 years old. It was part of a small free Afro American Community. Somehow this was an added facet to our story - that gave us an insight to earlier days in America.

Early on the Sunday we set to work. We had representatives in the Group from the United States, England, Northern Ireland, Costa Rica and Honduras arid as each person told of the conflict and violence we soon realised how much mothers in these areas have in common.

We shared our Peace Journeys through life and were amazed how parallel they were - in fact several of us had unbeknown crossed paths along the way.

We discussed a women's difficult role in trying to raise a peaceful child in an ever changing violent society - we discussed the changes we had seen in our life times- and how the word 'violent' has become blunted round the edges.

At the end of these sessions we all agreed that early education and unconditional love were the vital basic ingredients to keep children in an unpredictable future.

We also agreed that your idea of bringing women from different countries together to share and openly discuss their problems taught a great deal more that all the text books on a library shelf ever could.

For this we thank you Lucy.

Some of us went back to our host families at the end of this interesting day, others went on to sample night life in the Hispanic area of the city.

Nancy Daybelge July 1997
An Affirmation of Human Oneness

"I am a member of the human family
My home is earth,
The achievements of men and women,
My destiny is bound to that of all my fellow human beings,
What we jointly create forms our bequest to future generations,
May my life serve the good of my family,
May our use of the earth preserve it for those yet to come."

I found the above within hours of arriving in Washington. It was pinned up on the wall in the flat of a lady called Mary who welcomed us into her flat at Sandy Springs Friends House.

By chance for the first week "US" was Sally Cunningham from Women Together in Northern Ireland and myself. We had travelled together in July/August 1992 to Novosibirsk in Siberia and here we were almost 5 years later on another journey of "building bridges", of "giving" and "receiving" and "sharing" of information this time on the subject of raising peaceful children in a violent world.

The itinerary for the ten day period was "deep and wide" and not for the faint hearted!

My first hosts were Myra and Roger Wolcott - they had moved house on the 1st April and were still in the process of putting the finishing touches to their new home but the welcome was warm and wonderful and I thought that they were very dedicated taking in guests so soon after moving . Myra kept us on our toes as to when and where we were going and who was taking us and where we had to meet them and Roger kept us up to date with what was happening in the rest of the world!

Within the first week of "giving, receiving and sharing" of information on "raising peaceful children in a violent world" we have visited or been the guests of 21 different organisations and groups often leaving our hosts at 8.00 a.m. or before and not returning until 10 or 11 p.m. at night but the effort was worthwhile in terms of personal development, a greater understanding of the work that is ongoing in the Washington Area, in terms of changing attitudes towards violence and the tremendous determination from such a wide area of society to improve the quality of life for children and young people in the Hispanic Community.

Nancy, Joan and I have decided to write about specific days to share the workload - here is the first of my "share".

Tuesday 15th April 1997

Visit to Sacred Heart School, Mt. Pleasant Area of DC

We had met Jane Brown - a teacher from the school at the Hallowood Retreat at the weekend. We were met at the door of the school with a sea of smiling faces - each child was allocated to one of us for the morning -most of the children were bi-lingual English/Spanish and had no difficulty in communicating. There was a very positive atmosphere in the school -older pupils were encouraged to befriend children in the first class and the gentle approach between the children was very noticeable.
As was the technique for obtaining silence when the whole school were brought together in the auditorium of the school where Jane (the teacher) stood on the stage giving the sign for peace and quietly sh-sh-ing - other pupils copied this to any pupils that were still making a noise and, as if by "magic", silence descended! I have, since returning to my own school, started using this with exciting results even with pupils with profound learning difficulties.

Our new found friends, many of whom were from the Hispanic Community, lived their daily lives within an 'unsafe' area in terms of vandalism, drugs, weapons, etc but this school was working hard to change/nurture positive attitudes towards each other and, as an observer, it appeared to me that they were succeeding within the school environment -how this generalised to life outside school I don't know. A brown bag lunch was provided by Jane's class which they had prepared for us earlier.

A fond farewell and off to out next stop for 1.00 p.m. - this was Martha's Table. This organisation feeds 1,350 people per day 365 days a year.

They have volunteers who go early morning to collect food from Hotels, Supermarkets etc. This is then brought back and sorted. Veronica Parke, who manages Martha's Table, said that it was rather like a patch-work quilt in that they never know quite know how many "patches" they are going to pick up from on any one night.

A few facts re Martha's Table

They make 3000 sandwiches per day.
They need 300 loaves.
They have 70 volunteers per day.
They take the food out to 5 park areas of Washington at tea-time - soup, sandwiches, cakes.
Everything is donated - no government money.
They have a family learning centre upstairs - children arrive at 3.20 p.m. 30 - 45 tutors come voluntarily to work on a 1 - 1 basis.
Teenage Programme - they come to do their homework - access to computers.
Each teenager is encouraged to have a plan for their future.

Development Plans

To have a Laundromat.
To provide work experience for teenagers with this. To sell coffee on the street.



From Martha's table our next appointment was at ………


3.00 p.m. The Latin American Youth Centre

Here we met Diane Coltman who told us the following:-
I. Centre had been open for 25 years.
2. Founded by youths who said that the city was not paying attention to the needs of the growing Latin community.
3. They serve approximately 5,000 people a year - the majority being from Central America.
4. The Programmes included:- Personal health, Teen Parents Programme, Teen Drop-in Centre, Youth Building - uses young people to renovate old houses for the homeless.
5. All the professionals are bi-lingual.
6. Young people can earn money to pay off debts from school or to help them through University.
7. They try to make sure that there are sufficient role models.
8. The staff from the Centre work in the community alongside youth and families.
9. They try to give children the tools (through conflict resolution) to negotiate and walk away.
10. Volunteers from the Centre go into schools to help teacherswith young people.
11. There are gang problems related to alcohol and drugs.
12. 1 in 5 births are to unmarried women - the fastest growing rate of this is in the Hispanic community.
13. Lots of runaways/unsupervised young people who need help.
14. Many of the children are raised by their Grandmothers in counties in Central America And then come to Washington to their parents -lots of conflict between child and parents.
15. A lot of emphasis on giving children and young people the skills to survive and achieve some independence.

"If you give someone a fish they eat for one day - if you can teach them how to fish they can eat all their life."

We left the Youth Centre heads buzzing with all the information and a great respect for the people and the work they are doing.

6.15 p.m. Dinner and Evening Presentation by Delegates at Sandy Spring Friends House
I had some respite here as Joan did her "presentation" and I just enjoyed being there.

Wednesday 16th April 1997

Baltimore American Friends Service Committee.

A different sort of day - giving out rather than receiving information - a butterflies in the stomach experience as the microphone was pushed along the table towards you - a voice saying in my head "stand up Jean, get on with it, you're here to do your best" the realisation that there are lots of benefits in being in your middle + years in that you can draw on "experience" and discover that you have had a "peace journey" through life and how empowering this voyage of discovery is.

After the butterflies came an unwinding for 1 1/2 hours in the Baltimore sunshine by the harbour enjoying each others company.

5.00 p.m. We were at a different venue - Homewood Friends Meeting. Here I had an incidental chat with the Caretaker - a Mother to Mother chat about her experiences in living in Baltimore. I was surprised to learn that if I wanted I could just walk to the corner of the street and buy a gun! She said that she felt lucky - in that her son was 23 and she had managed to keep him out of trouble.

7.30 p.m. Presentation time again - taking turns to talk about our peace journey, our work/lives etc.

Late home - our hosts in bed - I have to pack my case as I'm leaving Roger and Myra in the morning - yes you guessed - early!

Thursday 17th April 1997

A sad and fond farewell to Myra and Roger - they really looked after us and opened up their hearts and their homes to us. Sally and I are parting company today as far as "home" is concerned. I am on my own - what, no one to talk over the days events with - I shall have to talk to myself or "ring home". I woke up at 3.00 a.m. that night and "rang home"!

I had arrived at Pat and Bill's house at 9.55 a.m. - at 10.00 a.m. we were on our way again to meet the rest of the group at the Metro - if we didn't make it there was no way that it was "safe" for 2 women alone to walk on the street in the area where we were going. We made it on time and were given advice by "Katrina" as to how to present ourselves in terms of body language, eye contact etc. when walking down the street. When we emerged from the Metro we realised why the advice was given - lots of black American men lolling, lying, looking - we crocodiled along listening to the sirens etc and eventually reached Howard University - this used to be an all black university but has now changed.

11.00 a.m. Here we visited the 'Network of Education on the Americas' office.

Some information:
1. The Shaw neighbourhood is mainly African American population.
2. Schemes in place for Youth Leadership and for Social Change.
3. Cross-cultural conflicts affecting personal safety.
4. Collecting information re the problems.
5. Encourage music - "when I'm singing I'm not thinking about violence".
6. Parents and children meet together and talk about their lives and the violence within it.

p.m. Tour of the Capitol

We raced to the capitol in a very heavy downpour and arrived in the very formal setting of an office of Mr Leech the Representative for IOWA - we were drenched and looked very informal! Our tour was interesting and in contrast to the majority of the buildings we had entered so far in our interest in "raising peaceful children in a violent world".

I thought I was in an "American Movie " and that at any time I might be switched off The security checks were intense - I had to leave my personal effects in baskets with security men in corridors - I felt quite insecure - what no bum-bag and camera?

I was thankful to retreat to my bedroom in my new home and unpack that night and reflect on the week that was!

Friday 19th April 1997

People were moving by 6.30 a.m. next morning - suited me as I'm a "morning person". We got to know each other over breakfast before Bill departed and Pat drove me to Lee's house for 9.00 a.m.

10.00 a.m. ABUSED PERSONS PROGRAMME

"We live what we believe - we act out of political change".

Facts
1. Part of Health and Human Services.
2. Politicians in County Government committed to the Programme.
3. Women judges who ensure the rights of women.
4. Women can stay 1 month - 3 months (it has to be physical violence).
5. The Sheriff goes to the woman's home and orders the man out.
6. The Judge can order the man out for 1 year (this goes on in the Civil Court).
7. Outpatient Service - men who have been to court have to come for counselling for 26 weeks.
8. In Montgomery County Asians are more reluctant to seek help.
9. Look at effect of violence on children - the safety issues, legal aspects, social psychological factors.
10. Individual and group counselling.
11. There is some mutual abuse.
12. Most shelters are private.
13. A different programme for abuse to the elderly and disabled.
14. Economical abuse becomes psychological abuse when you start to internalise the abuse and your esteem goes down leading to depression etc.

On the last Sunday I had the opportunity to see Washington through the eyes of a resident who had nothing to do with M.F.P. and how he saw "violence" within the city and clear indication where you can and cannot go. This was helpful to me as on the Monday I chose to be alone in Washington and just "experience" the tourists in the centre and the "people" on the Metro and ride on the bus back to within a mile of my second home. I experienced what it was like to walk alone in a residential area. The bus dropped me at house no 8032 and I had to find 3208 Woodbine Avenue!

I am very grateful to M.F.P. for giving me the opportunity to discover a "new world" in terms of Central America. I know that I have only "touched" on what their experiences are. I have learnt something of conflict resolution and alternatives to violence programme. I have met 3 women from Boise/Idaho and touched several of their quilts and been "touched" by their peace-making qualities. I have been inspired by the American M.F.P., by their enthusiasm for life and the love and kindness that they bestowed upon us. I came home determined to learn some Spanish, to learn how to quilt and to learn more about Central America. M.F.P. has enriched my life and I hope that through what I have learnt on this visit I can enrich the lives of children through involving them in a creative response to conflict programmes.
Jean Park-Goldthorp July 1977

With every true friendship we build more firmly the foundations on which the peace of the world exists.
Mahatma Gandhi


How many times was one reminded of Gandhi's thoughts during our first weekend together at the Retreat. Universal friendship is one of the principles of Mothers for Peace and during those first days we learned the comfort of feeling safe with each other as we shared and exchanged ideas.

Ah, but didn't Gandhi also say if we want world peace we must start with the children?

On Monday 14th April we were off to visit children for whom life was not as easy as the happy, confident children we had met at the Silver Springs Friends school a few days earlier.

At Wood Middle School we attended a class of hearing impaired children. The teacher was using signing and blackboard work and the group of about eight used hearing aids, lip reading and signing.

Jean uses sign language and although American signing is different there was much animated conversation.

We also saw a group of three learning about astronomy. These children were obviously much more limited in communication skills but were being painstakingly guided by their teacher with the help of practical models.

From there we saw tender, loving care at Child Find, a centre for very young handicapped children, some of them terminally ill. Here not only is respite provided for parents and carers but any problems with development are identified together with the parents and individual programmes planned.

Our next stop was at Gaithersburg High School.

Officer Frank Young of Maryland Police outlined his Special Initiative on Youth. There are many problems amongst the very large Hispanic populations.

Some teenagers are in the U.S.A. without parents and live alone and more than average are 'latch key children'.

Those with a first time offence who admit guilt can elect to be tried by their peers. This court consists of teenaged students (with parental consent) taking roles including the jury. The only adult is the judge. The `punishment' is community service, the hours count towards the community service undertaken by all students.

Mrs Theresa Wright, Parent Outreach Specialist with the Hispanic Community attended this discussion with Ivan and Claudia, two students at the school who are working out their problems with her.

She told us how Hispanic parents would like to get involved but do not know how. With much encouragement attendance at her parenting classes is gradually increasing.

Ivan was very articulate. He told us how he realised his behaviour had increased his single mother's difficulties. Now he and his mother are facilitators and talk to parents about communications.

The Police Chief came in to meet us. She had been one of the pioneers of this project.

We were given copies of the Parents' Guides which had been published to provide background on the formation, symptoms and solutions to some of today's social problems.

The Chief's Youth Initiative focuses on the ten key areas affecting the quality of life for youth in Montgomery County:

1. Computer/Internet Use
2. Shoplifting
3. Runaways
4. Substance Abuse
5. Victimisation Prevention
6. Gangs/Fringe Groups
7. Vandalism
8. Traffic Safety
9. Vehicle Theft
10. Hate Violence

The project aims to help parents in identifying the warning signs of anti¬social behaviour and to provide follow up assistance.

"Working together, we can provide an environment that will enable our youth to reach their full potential."

After this stimulating morning we went to the home of Bob and Jane Nutter, who had kindly invited us all to lunch. All too soon we rushed off to our next assignment at the Women's Commission.

The Commission for Women celebrated its twenty-fifth anniversary earlier this year.

It was established by act of law to advocate equal rights for women.

Its goals are:

To foster conditions which permit, and eliminate conditions which prohibit, equal participation of women in the benefits, responsibilities and opportunities of society, and to

Enable women to participate as equals in the community through the acquisition of skills and competencies, information and resources.

The Commission's counselling and career centre offers services to individual women struggling with inequities. Services are designed to enable women to gain the skills and develop the resources necessary to effectively participate in a rapidly changing environment.
After that busy day we relaxed for a meal with our hosts. My host was Joyce Stone, a remarkable women, who, in spite of ill health (well really she ignores it) leads a very active and creative life. There seems to be no craft that she doesn't participate in.

Joyce, Pat, her daughter in law, and I then joined the others at Olney Ale House for an evening of entertainment.

On Wednesday 16th April we divided into two groups. Sally, from Women Together, Northern Ireland, Merly, from Honduras and I were accompanied by Lee Ingram to Stewart Mott House in Washington for a Round Table discussion with women representatives from twenty-two groups working with children and issues of violence.

This event had been organised under the umbrella of Peace Links.

A special bonus for me was a surprise meeting with Wade Tomlinson, a Peace Links worker. He and Merly's interpreter were the only men present. Wade and I were volunteer workers at National Peace Council in London.

Washington was beautiful on that glorious spring day and before the meeting we all enjoyed a delicious buffet lunch in the lovely garden.

We all presented the work and aims of our various groups. Both Sally and I ended our contributions with a poem written by a child:

Peace be with you
Peace is just a little word
And yet it means so much
It means a smile, a helping hand
A word or just a touch.

It means to laugh and not to cry
To give as well as to take
To help amend a broken heart
That otherwise might break.

Yes, this peace is such a little word
But its meaning is so great
Let’s give this little word a chance
Instead of that word hate.

Lynn McQuaid, Omagh age 16

Why?

What are you doing, are you mad?
You are making living things sad
You are polluting the air.
Why don't you care?

What are you doing, making people sad?
Killing is foolish and it's bad.
Why do you make ware?
It just makes bad happenings more

Take a leaf from Robin Hood's book
And have a really good look.
Take from the rich, and give to the poor.
It will please the world much much more

Joseph age 9

Peace Is? From Women Together's Anthology of Children's Poetry Published November 1991

We feel if children can show such understanding and sensitivity they will help to spread ideas of peace and justice.

The meeting asked for copies which were later sent in the next edition of Peace Links.

Peace Links will, as a follow up, begin further networking and hope to find ways to begin effectively building activities and feel that work must be from the bottom up, with the following priorities:

1. to approach conflict through violence prevention;

2. to support innovative, cost-effective measures to address root causes of violent conflict;

3. to identify and eliminate structural violence in the form of gross socio-economic disparities world wide, manifested most acutely in education, health care and employment; as well as to inform families around the U.S.A. whose news sources leave them woefully uninformed about the huge amounts that are being spent in their name to build prisons and find weapons systems at the expense of human needs investments.

After this very rewarding meeting Lee felt there was no point in a long drive to join the others in Baltimore.

We three enthusiastically agreed on a sightseeing drive around Washington.

We stopped at the Kennedy Arts Centre, situated by the lovely Potomac River and later attended a free foyer concert performed by the Howard University String section.

The next day we changed hosts and Nancy and I moved to the home of Mary-Ann Baily, a very hard working single mother, and Chris, her son.

The experiences of my last day and a half were deeply moving. Mary-Ann left me at Union Station where Ana, Jean and I bade farewell to Sally before her train journey to New York. By this time the seminar having ended several delegates had left.

After being protected and cosseted we each decided to spend a few hours alone in Washington. At last there was some time for present buying, which I did in the Museum of American History.

I met Lee at the Holocaust Museum but we decided to walk around this vast exhibition alone. How can one describe this meticulous archive collection portraying man's inhumanity? Let the words of Bertolt Brecht speak for all of us who lived through that dreadful time:

Of course I know it's simply luck
That I've survived so many of my friends
But last night I had a dream
I heard those friends say of me "Survival of the fittest"
And I hated myself.

The next day we were to fly back to Heathrow. Lee was to take Jean and me to the airport, she collected me for lunch so that I could see a video of the film "Weapons of the Spirit" as a follow-up to our visit to the Holocaust Museum.

One certainly needs to be reminded of the courageous kindness which can be shown by humanity after a visit to the museum. And there it was to lift our spirits. As we had to leave as soon as it ended I didn't have time to note any details.

However, the British Film Institute gave me a lot of information. This film has never been shown in the U.K. The director was Pierre Sauvage. Here are his notes:

"Even during the Holocaust, there was a village that cared. And in one tiny corner of Nazi-occupied France, 5,000 Jews were sheltered - by 5,000 Christians! Weapons of the Spirit is the account of the unique conspiracy of goodness that developed in and around the village of Le Chambon-sur¬-Liege.

I am a Jew who was born in Nazi-occupied Europe. That means that around the time of my birth, much of my family was humiliated, tortured and murdered in the Nazi death camps - while the world stood by. Yet I was born and protected on that defiantly peaceful plateau in the mountains of France. I returned there to find out why."

In his sermon on the morning after Germany had crushed France the pastor of the
Protestant church said: The duty of Christians is to respond to the violence that will be brought to bear on their consciences with the weapons of the spirit. For four years the villagers shared what little food they had. When Sauvage interviewed some of them they simply said when people came if the needed help we gave it.

This forces us to wonder what we might do when confronted with unfairness in such terrible circumstances.

Sitting back now and thinking about my time in the United States representing Mothers for Peace I am still overwhelmed at the kindness, compassion and care I discovered during those twelve days.

The organisation was faultless - if there were any problems they were hidden from us. I could only wish for half the energy of those who arranged our reception, hosting and transport to the many venues.

It was a pleasant surprise to find so many sharing one's wavelength. There are campaigns for the lifting of the Cuban embargo, objection to guns ownership, the arms trade, the school of the Americas. Protection for abused families and rights for all children and the willingness to revise fluency in Spanish in order to help Latin/American immigrants.

Our integration with the other delegates form Northern Ireland, Honduras, Costa Rica and Idaho and the sharing of ideas can only help us all in communicating with others and spreading the principles of Mothers for Peace hopefully producing more understanding people to people, children and adults.

Thank you Mothers for Peace.

Joan Eggmore